oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
