how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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