you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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