I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
sex in a hospital.. check
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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