If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize