Duck Duck Cougar?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
