yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
