when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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