i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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