Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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