there was a trapeze. enough said
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
