i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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