It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
