what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
