hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
