Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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