PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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