I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
