then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
