She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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