Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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