just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she smelled like a LAN party
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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