Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize