Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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