honey bunches of taint.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize