so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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