I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
