glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
