just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
