VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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