We're facebook friends in real life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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