when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
