Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
