Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize