I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize