Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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