just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
