Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
