your thong is hanging out like whoa
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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