Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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