it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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