with your own penis?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
