The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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