they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My dick has a subreddit
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
