no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
