If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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