I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
