I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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