dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize