WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
