Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
