I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
