just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
smell my finger.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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