Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You can't just leave with hair like that
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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