if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize