i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my poor anus
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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