The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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