Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize