cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
