she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize