Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
well I can't set my house on fire every night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
