dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
