After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
