i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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