I look better un-naked...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
