Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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