The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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