You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
