I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
