It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
