do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize