no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
